memories.

There was one night, I was being asked about a very sensitive question. "What is the biggest personal changes you have ever made?" The first thought in my mind is, how I pull myself up from being morally degenerating during form2... Speaking of this, let's way back to four years ago.

During form2, what kind of person was I? Depraved, played truant occasionally, being irrespectful to the teachers, broke the rules, being controlled by self-ego... I mingled with bad friends, stayed overnight at friend's house w/out parents' permission (which is a big NO-NO to my dad). For all the time my mom was worried that I might get tempted into doing vices, and of course she was being conservative, afraid that I might become the victim mentioned in newspaper, which was getting pregnant. Okay I gave her this particular face =.= I hate it every time she mentioned about pregnancy because it just showed how much she doubt on me. She tried to talk to me but I replied her with rude words. She heard something bad about me from other parents and asked me about it. "Don't talk to me if you'd rather believe the outsiders. Stop talking." Yes I throw this sentence to mama. I could see the disappointed look in her eyes but I just didn't give a shit about it. Yes I was THIS REBELLIOUS. I wonder how hurt she was to hear this.

My mom talked to me, my sis talked to me, but I didn't want to listen to them. I hated my family. Until the day where I get caught by dad for ponteng sekolah.... dad told me how disappointed he was, on the phone. At that moment, I wanna leave this home badly. I wanna be isolated. I actually got no gut to face my family. Ashamed of what I have done. But dad didn't scold me face-to-face the next day after the incident, he didn't question about it, never mentioned.... Just treat me better instead.

And I can't really remember why I resolved to turn over a new leaf. I broke up with samseng boyfriend, started to pay attention in class, began to study hard, attended tuition classes to cope with studies... I didn't know I could make such changes. But I never regretted for what I have done in the past. The experiences accrued bring me wisdom instead. And I'm able to speak the truth fearlessly now because I am no longer depraved. :D

And it's the tenacity that makes me who I am today.

Mama and papa are proud of the Heng Zhi Sam today. ^^